When Uninvited Guests Show Up

Feb 3, 2024 | Virtues of the Heart

January was a month full of challenges, starting with mild symptoms of a virus or flu, which my wife also experienced. Fortunately, these symptoms passed before our trip to Mexico for a wedding. It was touch-and-go until we felt well enough to travel, but we made the trip.

Upon returning from Mexico, I had a relapse of the virus, much more severe, leaving me with little to no energy and no will to do anything. This led to feelings of vulnerability, frustration, anger, and generally feeling sorry for myself. After days of inactivity and exhaustion from continuous coughing, I languished in an unmotivated, self-destructive state for weeks.

During these perceived hardships, I tend to resist and fight primarily internally mentally, and emotionally. Over time, I start to feel the pangs of depression seeping in. This is familiar territory for me, so just the thought of it drags me even further down the rabbit hole of despair.

In moments of clarity or lucid thinking while in this state, I became aware of what I was doing—caught in a labyrinth of judgment and negative projections. One of the tools I use in these situations is stepping back and observing as a witness. In this observer state, I can see objectively how quickly and completely I can be knocked off balance and fall victim to my ego mind’s assessments, projections, and judgments.

Now, you may think that I should know better at this stage of my personal growth evolution, but that is not the case. I am constantly having to reset these lapses of falling back into my ego identification.


The heart virtues, particularly Compassion play a crucial role. I had to apply compassion to myself as an initial step in resetting my state. From there, I began to shift and add more virtues as they came up.

Feeling unmotivated, with low energy, a diminished self-image, and uncertainty about my purpose, direction, and confidence, I contemplated whether to continue this blog. I needed clarity, peace, and resolve. Reaching out for advice to trusted friends reminded me of why I started writing in the first place—to practice writing regularly, to write from my heart (or higher self), and to share my experiences with others who may find it helpful.

Ego vs. Heart:

My ego questioned the worth of my writing based on the number of subscribers and whether it was good enough to share at all. If I were to listen to that voice only it would make me stop writing entirely. Thankfully, there is another voice—my heart voice, my intuitive voice—that led me to ask for help. I received sound feedback, allowing me to see differently, recognizing the ego voice, and letting it go. No fighting, no resistance, no judgment—only allowing and releasing these uninvited guests.

In this process, I began to experience renewed energy and intention. I felt excited about my life, what I wanted to co-create, and what I wanted to embody in my ongoing self-expression. I shifted from a powerless victim to a powerful, creative, energy-creating being.

Reflection and Appreciation:

In hindsight, I can see that I went through the whole experience for a very good reason. The universe had to show me experientially that I was off balance and where it leads. It could have been another cycle of ups and downs, leaving me with scars and a lack of clarity, but my heart stepped in, intuition provided one step at a time to guide me in a different direction, and I followed them.

I now look back with appreciation, understanding, and humility for the sheer beauty of how the universe works in my favor if I am willing to listen. I do not doubt that this will happen again, but in each case, I will find it easier to come to my own rescue before it drags me down too far.

This is life—the never-ending journey of the infinite traveler, always expanding our understanding of what we are. Fulfillment is in the conscious co-creating in every step of our life journey, and that is always Now. There is no future destination.

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