Landing in the Heart

Oct 2, 2022 | Virtues of the Heart

I have spent most of my life trying to be happy. 

I have looked for happiness in relationships, money, clothes, looks, cars, homes, glamor, position, intelligence, spiritual knowledge, joining the right tribe, business success, and on and on.

Through all of this, I was trying to avoid feeling bad and falling into a depressed state where I was unmotivated and living my life as a victim, powerless and unworthy. Depression was always lurking around the corner—I can even feel that depression rising up as I write down how I lived for so long. It is a stark reminder of my past life struggles, but I live differently now, and I know how to help myself shift out of those dark places and find happiness, even moments of pure bliss, in my life experiences.

Of course there have been times when I was quite happy and living a productive life nurtured by achieving some of the above accomplishments and, more importantly, loving relationships. But this constant craving for something that would make me feel better would always raise its head when faced with the next problem or challenge. I was always on edge, fearing the ugly darkness of depression.

I was not standing still in my life of struggle. I chose early on in my life to try to learn how to be successful in life. That idea of “success” would change dramatically throughout my life. My mother referred to me as a searcher, which bugged me, because it did not have a positive tone to it coming from her. As my life path developed, I searched for anyone who I thought could help me live a better life. From the early classics on positive thinking to business books, philosophy, psychology, mysticism, channeling, physics, science, astrology, Eastern spiritual teachers and to many of the more contemporary spiritual teachers in the West. These were very helpful at different stages of my life, sometimes even life-changing. Some helped me through difficult times. I am very grateful to those great teachers who brightened the path for me and others to follow.

I consider myself a somewhat well-informed person when it comes to personal growth, which I have gleaned from 45 years of studying various teachings. I can recite some of the highest teachings of many great teachers, but that alone cannot make my life any better. I learned the long and hard way that it is not the accumulation of knowledge that will free me, but the practice in life moment to moment that is where the magic is.

As it turns out, my own life is the very workshop I have been looking for. It is in my next breath, next action, or the state of being in the moment that my happiness lies. It is never outside of me in the shape of some form. My life is the means by which I realize who I am and that I am a creator being with only one purpose: to live in the moment, continuously expanding my perspective of what is possible, while being a transmitter and receiver of love. All my other activities that I choose to do in my life are infused by that primary purpose and intention.

This blog is devoted to sharing my thoughts, experiences, challenges, and questions about my inner journey and how I navigate life using my heart as my guide.

I am a practitioner of the Six Heart Virtues, and my next blog post will be an introduction to this practice and how living from the heart has influenced my life experience.

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